Black & Orange Wanting & Denying Him
by Tiberias
Summary: House/Chase fan fiction. Chase wants to leave House or maybe not. Second part of Black & Orange series. Season 06


TITLE: Black & Orange (Wanting & Denying Him)  
AUTHOR: Tiberias  
PAIRING: House/Chase  
RATING: NC/17  
SUMMARY: Chase wants to leave House or maybe not. (Season 06)  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any HOUSE MD character. I'm not making money off of this.

"Did you had sex with him?"

I quickly look up at Thirteen, my heart is racing.

What?

She blushes and grin, my mouth is dry.

How the hell she knows!

Then I realize that she's at the phone, laughing while lazily stirring a cup of coffee.

I must have fallen asleep.

She invited me for a dinner.

Telling you the truth an easy one, dinner.

You know, pizza plus a bunch of beers and a rented movie that turns out to be stupid.

We laugh and push ourselves like kids, gossiping about colleagues and friends.

Yeah, you got it right, we had a very casual, easy and funny dinner.

And all because she knows that I will not mess with her.

And all because she knows that we will not end up in bed.

My touches are innocent and in her eyes there's no sexual desire.

We are simply good friends.

That's it!

Believe me I didn't need to say so, I didn't need to invent lame excuses.

One night, she looked at me and understood.

I was on the edge of saying everything, I was there to say how he saved me from drowning in the streams.

Drowning in my guilt, in my passions and duties.

She didn't say anything, she didn't try to make me spill the truth.

She knows that it's not easy, when a guy falls in love with another man.

There was only this brief moment of silence before she offered me another beer.

She's knows but pretends to be blind.

And guys you should had seen Taub's face!

He grinned and punched me on the shoulder. "Go boy after her!"

I laughed but inside I was burning because how can I say that I don't want her?

Who doesn't want her?

I look at her, she's funny and easy going, sexy and playful.

She's talking while moving her long fingers up in the air, like describing something, painting it with invisible colors.

Staring down I think that she would understand me, she would smile and say that if it's what I really want, then I should go after it!

Ground is burning under her feet and she would understand me I know, she would understand my choices and needs.

I guess somehow she always knew that I wanted more from him.

I guess she knew it, before me.

But again, I stay in silence.

It's late, I say and she gives me this little smile like saying, "hey maybe next time you will say it to me."

Yes, maybe next time I will let myself go and untie this elegant mask of mine.

I drove back at home. His home.

And all my thoughts are like fishes, swimming in a too little aquarium.

One month and I'm here stuck, still wondering about my feelings but still wanting him to want me.

It's humid and a bunch of guys are crossing the street laughing hard, girls on high heels are following behind, staying together while talking.

Shimmering dresses, smeared lip glosses and tired but happy smiles.

The night is still young!

I should be out driving my life crazy without thinking about how stupid and weak I am.

Parking my car I can see his motorbike silently staring at me.

What are doing, judging me?

What do you want?

What do I want from me and from my life?

I had Cameron and we burned everything to ashes, we were too blind and stubborn!

We killed ourselves with pride and possessiveness.

Looking back, we ripped off our kingdom and smeared blood on walls made of silence and regrets.

The house is enveloped in darkness and silence but his scent is everywhere.

Smiling I notice that he spent the evening reading the book I gave him.

Now it's lying on the coffee table beside an empty can of Coke and a half eaten bag of chips.

Am I living with a kid?

Smiling I go back to this morning.

This morning.

Under the shower, with you gone to work.

I was breathing hard, I was slick and horny.

She called you, be fast come here!

You grunted slipping out of the bed and didn't kiss me.

I stayed in our bed, in your bed staring at the ceiling, wondering if it's normal lying here naked with you gone.

You left warm muffins and hot dark coffee, then I heard you on your Honda ride away.

But I'm not going to take it back, all the words I said.

All this secrecy, all these stupid words and excuses I have to say with my eyes betraying what the mouth is saying.

So under that shower I made a deal with myself, sending my message of love back to home.

Because my life is better if spent inside your world, that no ones seem to understand.

Everyone is wondering what is going inside your head, what your heart is made of.

Made of stone or made of glass?

How can they shatter it and find your true nature?

My hand was fast and brought me and my heart in screaming out for more.

Oh you uncatchable nature, so prismatic and capricious like the wind I can feel you but I can't keep you in my fist.

I went to work and you found an excuse to close me into an empty room, kissing me.

You just wanted to kiss me, establishing another connection with old ones.

What are you afraid of?

I see you, I see your face and I see all the bruises and cuts that you are carrying around.

All these deep cuts suffered in whose name?

And now you are asleep, it's late and maybe you thought that I wasn't coming to your place.

Maybe you thought that the words I said were true.

Cruel sun showing all my emotions, and your eyes going from blue to crystal.

Was I leaving you?

Keys into the engine, your motorbike ready to run away, ready to bring you away before the ruin.

Maybe, you realized that no one wants to figure out your true nature.

You can keep in setting your world on fire.

Creating new limits and then destroy them before they can break you down.

You are sleeping naked, lately you can't stand in wearing anything.

What is chocking you?

Is it me?

But tomorrow with no place left to hide, you will face yourself, again asking who do you love?

Who can have you?

Don't know what you feel about, but I know that your dreams aren't empty as people likes to think.

"Did you had fun?"

You are awake.

A feather fell to the ground and and woke you up.

Turning on your side you are facing me and my indecision.

"Can't you sleep?" I ask, softly caressing your short hair.

"No. If you aren't here."

I stay in silence, wondering from where you are coming from, never knew what was hiding behind your blue eyes.

Never thought that you could be this needy.

Then you leave me and naked go to hide in the bathroom.

Slowly I start to undress and then I sigh when your warm arms pulls me against your chest, kisses on my neck and your hand caressing my stomach.

Foggy feelings, cloudy needs in the middle of the night are keeping us awake.

Pushing me on the bed I fall and land between sheets and worn t – shirts.

Everything smells of you.

Everything smells of your scent mixed with mine.

In your kisses I learn that you had too much mint chocolate and I smile when you whisper that you had to masturbate for allowing you to fall asleep.

It's like fever, it's like madness I don't want to think anymore.

You bite my fingers, then lick my precious hands.

They save lives and they give you pleasure.

And I think about Foreman, yesterday yelling me how stupid I was thinking that I will not get his revenge.

He pushed me against his locker, hissing on my face that I was a loser and a killer.

"Mark my words, I will not protect you against House!" He laughed slamming shut his locker.

"Guess what will be his reaction when I will say that you killed Diabla."

"He surely knows it!" I hissed, "and don't ever dare to touch me again!"

"I was useful for all the months you lied to Cameron about what you did!" He continued, nodding between himself.

"It's the past, we broke up!"

"But you still work here, House and above all Cuddy wouldn't be happy in knowing what mess you did." He explained smirking.

"Fuck you!" I yelled before storming off.

"Stay with me." You ask, turning my face toward yours.

My hand comes to rest on your cheek and you smile, planting a kiss upon it.

Who are you?

You can't be the same person with whom I work.

The same Gregory House.

Pulling me toward your warm body, leaning against your chest and hearing your heart.

I'm strong even on my own, but sometime I keep forgetting how vulnerable I can be.

My hands are spreading on your chest, my fingers are drawing gentle patterns.

Sheets sliding away, leaving us naked to the night air.

My mouth is hungry for your kisses, your hands in my hair and on my back, keeping me close.

You are thinking that I want to escape, that you are too dangerous and too lost for a guy like me.

I know.

I know that when I said those words I was selfish, I was searching an easy and safe escape.

I almost shattered you, I was almost losing you but then I yelled and run after you and your motorbike.

Please, please forgive me and my immaturity.

Please leave me some air, some space to explain that it's not sex, it's not me being fucked by my boss.

You were angry and yelled, your eyes pieces of ice cutting me.

And now, now it's all about skin, smell, kisses, touches, moans and the need to let everything slide away.

Breathing, licking and arching.

Between your thighs, moist desires comes alive while wet sounds entertain the night.

There's no escape, sweet surrender your hands are pulling at my hair.

Want more?

All this intimacy that I'm tasting is like pure fire, makes me want to devour you.

Oh please let me reduce you into a needy man that wants only to satisfy his low instincts.

No one brought you there, no one fooled your fast and brilliant brain.

Maybe vicodin was a whore and made you waste a bit of yourself, between her alluring arms.

And what I was missing, I'm sure it can be found in you.

And what I don't understand can be explained in your own words.

If loving you it's such a sin, then I'm about to catch you before falling hard to the ground.

Arching love. Envious love, power and crowned love, you are pointing me inviting to play with him.

It's extremely easy the way you make me weak, under your kisses, between your thighs, hand generously cupping your cock.

Again and again I want to breathe through you.

Kissing my stomach, going up toward my nipples your moist mouth closing over one of them, making me shiver.

You bastard!

Pulling a handful of your hair, I can't restrain you from biting me hard and making me arch and writhe.

Please oh please, your hand sliding between my thighs, sinuously invading my thoughts, feeding my cravings.

And I'm lost and found.

Yes, I'm lost and found between my thighs now wrapped around your shifting waist.

Biting softly your jaw and stubble is bruising me a little but i don't mind at all.

Spilling words into my ears, these are needy and drenched in love and your leg, you don't mind pain mixing with pleasure it keeps you alive and kicking.

Sweat dripping, making us slippery and then I can stop myself from saying, an inch away from your damp limps, "I always thought that you would have looked like this."

"Like what?" You ask breathing hard while entwining my fingers between yours.

"Like you are ready to fall." I secretly smile against your jaw.

Your eyes are trying to analyze me but you are too much lost and gone for letting your genius do the dirty work.

My hands sliding on your back and I hear you coming, I feel your warmth spreading inside me and I smiling because I caught you and in your kiss a silent promise is sealed.

I know I'm meant to be yours.

Can't escape, can't deny, can't say that I don't want more.

"I love you". I whisper softly kissing your lips again and again.

"I love you too." You smile and for the first time you are believing in those words.

You aren't thinking that I will fool you.

You aren't thinking that love is only for stupids and desperate lonely people.

"I'm sorry for what I said."

"It's ok you are here." You reassure me pulling my body closer to yours.

"Don't leave me."

"Give me a reason." You sigh putting your chin over my head.

I close my eyes enjoying the warmth of your body.

"What we will do?"

You stay in silence.

"Greg?"

"Do I look like I care?" You say with your usual superior air.

I smile. "No."

Then another long moment of silence goes on between us.

"I know what you did with Diabla if it's what you are trying to say."

I tense and look up at you.

Foreman.

"I knew it before Foreman and his hey I know a secret about Chase!"

"I-" I start to babble heart racing.

"You wanted to leave me because of this?" You ask electric eyes piercing through me.

"Look, I knew it before you decided to have sex with me, if this calms you down a little."

"Don't leave me please." I whisper.

Don't leave me like Cameron did.

Don't use me like Foreman did.

Don't trash and kill me somewhere after what we did.

"Robert look at me!"

How?

Your eyes are invading my soul.

"What you did was wrong and so not you."

"Greg I-"

"No listen to me!" You say harshly lifting up my chin. "Look at me please." You plea before kissing me.

"It's in the past and I will not condemn you, I'm the last that can do so." You say an inch away from my parted lips. "I don't want you to slay yourself for this."

"I killed him when my duty was to keep him alive." I cry out.

"He was compromised and old and …" You stop and I'm feeling like something long and slimy is pulling me down.

"Tell me what you want to hear and I will say it for you just to chase the pain and guilt away."

"You can't justify it for me." I whisper.

"You can't leave me." You quickly reply and never know that you were falling for me this hard.

"Greg." I smile softly caressing his face.

"I'm old but I guess not wise but ask me and I will try to find all the answers you want."

"I love you, really love you." I say caressing his nape, playing with his short hair.

"It's in the past."

"I will come up out from this, somehow." I nod kissing you.

"Love is for losers." You say before kissing me again. "Then I guess I'm one of them."

I smile lying on your chest.

"I can hear your brain stop it!" I say slapping softly your head.

"Or maybe I'm masochist."

Silence.

Another slap.

"Did I ever told you about my masochist side?"


End file.
